Tuesday, July 22, 2014

This deadass the funniest tweet ever.


This deadass the funniest tweet ever.

Monday, July 21, 2014
  • 1:30 - I decide it’s nice out and I want to go to the beach
  • 2:00 - I arrive at the beach and begin suntanning
  • 2:30 - I flip over to bake my other side, listen to Phil Collins’ greatest hits
  • 3:00 - Decide I’m going to have a nice sunburn, stand up and get ready to leave
  • 3:02 - Text from Alison: “I’m going to the beach. Do you want to come?”
  • 3:18 - Alison shows up
  • 3:20 - A fog bank rolls in with a stiff breeze
  • 3:50 - We finally give up and leave
  • 4:00 - The fog goes away, it’s nice out again
Beach day for goths, I guess.

Beach day for goths, I guess.


Night Burgers

(Source: indagoho)

You merely adopted the Dunkin Donuts. I was raised by it. Molded by it. I didn’t get another job until I was already a man. And by then it was nothing to me but BLINDING

1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay.

2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want.

3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other.

4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy.

5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life.

Five things I am trying very hard to accept (via aumoe)
Sunday, July 20, 2014

Song makes me misty eyed every time.

Story of my entire life.